Uhm.

I really dislike when someone has something negative about my relationship.

I really couldn’t care less as to what you have to say about it.

I love him.

He loves me.

Keep your bullshit to yourself.

For the first time in awhile.

I really feel good enough.

Like I’m finally enough.

I don’t know why this has taken me so long to figure this out.

I’m stopping the pessimistic thoughts.

I’m all about optimistic now. (:

(:

This makes me so happy.

This assignment is really stupid.

I kind of want to shoot it. But that would mean dead laptop. ):

Eek. I sound like Joseph more and more each day.

He says he wants to shoot things. Not me.

Sheesh.

Awesome.

I’m possibly getting my H1N1 shot tomorrow - if I’m allowed by them. I have a cold, but we’ll see.

Monday, I’m getting the second shot to my Hep C shot. From my trip.

Fuck. I’m going to be a pin cushion. >.<

I knew today was going to be hard.

I was trying not to let it get to me too much. But logging onto facebook and seeing Amy’s status, and her picture, just brought on the tears.

Today’s been a year since my Aunt passed away, from Breast Cancer.

It’s hard, and it’s heartbreaking. I didn’t get to have a great relationship with her. In fact, she really didn’t like me, or anyone else for the majority of my childhood. She was a bitter woman, and that made everyone resent her.

But when she got cancer, she completely changed. She did a 360, and was exactly how Aunt should be. She loved us. Everyone loved her.

I’ll never forget the day of her funeral. Walking into the funeral home, and Amy looks up to me from across the room, and we smiled at each other, that fake smile that says I’m holding in there, but I desperately need a hug. I took off my coat, and walked over, and her and I just started sobbing, and hugging each other. Her and I are always there for each other.And that moment, I knew it was real. I knew it was going to be life changing.

I hugged everyone else, and crying just didn’t stop. It was such a stupid idea to put on make-up. Or at least make-up that wasn’t water proof.

I got my Aunt Gayle, the nicest lady you could ever meet. She reminds me of my grandmother soo much, it’s not even funny, and her and I, and Amy, stood there hugging each other again, and crying.

I got my Uncle, and it was probably one of the most heart breaking things I’ve heard. He asked me how I was, and I said I was okay, and I hugged him, and he broke down, and just sobbed. He kept saying My Girl in reference to my Aunt. We walked up to my Aunt, and I touched her hand, and said goodbye, told her I always loved her, and I hoped she was in a better place. My Uncle and I just stood there, he asked me who was going to keep him in line now, and I promised him, I would. He hugged me again.

They had a memorial service, about a month after her funeral. My Aunt was a teacher. She knew soo many people, they all couldn’t come to the tiny funeral home. This one, was a heart breaker.

Amy did a speech, Jeremy couldn’t get past the tears, and neither could my Uncle. Everyone else, who would mention anything about my family in their speeches, and say how she had such high hopes for myself and Justin, instantly made me cry.

How did I never know this? How did I never know she cared about me.. deep down, past the mask she hid behind for so long. I can’t even, it just makes me so sad now.

Anyways.

Today’s hard. And I’m still crying. I just want to see Amy, and give her a hug. ):

Right now.

I want my boyfriend in my bed. Not even to do things with. Just to cuddle. To be in his arms. I’m freezing, and he’s always warm, hot even. And it’s so unfair, because that right there just adds another reason to why we’re good together. I’m cold, he’s hot. His extra heat makes up for my lack of heat. I love cuddling, and so does he. Cuddling just sounds very lovely right now. I’m so tired, and I really just want him here.

Okay, I’m done.

I don't understand how I got so lucky.

“Because when you’re in love the word impossibility is non existent. So it’s very possible that I do in fact love you more.”

I still love, I love you fights. (:

I'm getting off the internet.

Goodnight.

What a little.. ohhh.

Calling me Megan, even though that’s my name, but he never calls me that unless it’s something really.. important, or serious.

First he says he has a serious question - apparently asking what St Andrew’s day is, is a serious question. Waiting for his reply of such question almost gave me a heart attack.

Followed by saying he has something to tell me, that is serious. I ask if it’s going to make me unhappy, and he says he doesn’t know. He then says. Megan, I.. and I’m like you what? And he says seriously love you. :)

Mind fuck going on here, Jesus. Haha.

I’m glad it was at least cute.

I started the House Of Night series yesterday.

I’m like almost finished, aha. Which is no surprise to me or anyone else.

I’m kind of addicted. I should have got the box set. Dang.

Hahaha.

“I friggin’ hate watching movies with these people.”

“Who?”

“My parents. They’ve made me pause it twice now. I’m like really?”

“Ohhh. Kind like you with the remote when we watched Walk The Line.”

“Hey now. That wasn’t my faultt!”

“Sure it wasn’t! Little Miss, “I hit the remote, I started it over.” Haha.”

My boyfriend’s an ass. (: